Free ePUB I Hate You - Don't Leave MeAuthor Jerold J. Kreisman –

AM I LOSING MY MIND People With Borderline Personality Disorder Experience Such Violent And Frightening Mood Swings That They Often Fear For Their Sanity They Can Be Euphoric One Moment, Despairing And Depressed The Next There Are An Estimated Million Sufferers Of BPD Living In America Today Each Displaying Remarkably Similar Symptoms A Shaky Sense Of Identity Sudden Violent Outbursts Oversensitivity To Real Or Imagined Rejection Brief, Turbulent Love Affairs Frequent Periods Of Intense Depression Eating Disorders, Drug Abuse, And Other Self Destructive Tendencies An Irrational Fear Of Abandonment And An Inability To Be Alone For Years BPD Was Difficult To Describe, Diagnose, And Treat But Now, For The First Time, Dr Jerold J Kreisman And Health Writer Hal Straus Offer Much Needed Professional Advice, Helping Victims And Their Families To Understand And Cope With This Troubling,shockingly Widespread Affliction

10 thoughts on “I Hate You - Don't Leave Me

  1. says:

    I may be in the minority here, but I hate this book Its stance on those who deal with BPD is far from empathetic rather, it perpetuates this myth that all people with BPD are ridiculous and borderline dangerous individuals who care only for themselves As someone who suffers from BPD myself, it had me wanting to slit my own throat for the good of humanity by the time I was done How very Borderline of me.

  2. says:

    To sum things up Borderline personality disorder BPD is a serious mental illness marked by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships, It is one of the most common of all of the personality disorders Most people who have BPD suffer from Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts Impulsive and reckless behavior Unstable relationships with other peopleWomen with BPD are likely to have co occurring disorders such as major depression, anxiety disorders, or eating disorders In men, BPD is likely to co occur with disorders such as substance abuse or antisocial personality disorder A borderline suffers a kind of emotional hemophilia they are provoked to rage uncontrollably against the people they love most They feel helpless and empty, with an identity splintered by severe emotional contradictions Mood changes come swiftly, explosively, carrying the borderline from the heights of joy to the depths of depression Filled with anger one hour, calm the next Everything looked and sounded unreal Nothing was what it is That s what I wanted to be alone with myself in another world where truth is untrue and life can hide from itself From Long Day s Journey into Night, by Eugene O Neill The family background of a borderline is often marked by alcoholism, depression, and emotional disturbances A borderline childhood is frequently a desolate battlefield, scarred with the debris of indifferent, rejecting, or absent parents, emotional deprivation, and chronic abuse Most studies have found a history of severe psychological, physical, or sexual abuse in many borderline patients Indeed, a history of mistreatment, witness to violence, or invalidation of experience by parents or primary caregivers distinguishes borderline patients from other psychiatric patients.These unstable relationships carry over into adolescence and adulthood, where romantic attachments are highly charged and usually short lived The borderline will frantically pursue a man or woman one day and send him packing the next Longer romances usually measured in weeks or months rather than years are usually filled with turbulence and rage, wonder, and excitement.

  3. says:

    This book is terribly outdated It lists homosexuality as sexual deviation, and was published before the advent of SSRIs It also predates the current treatment for borderline personality disorder, Dialetical Behavioral Therapy Don t bother reading this.

  4. says:

    This book uses astonishingly stigmatizing language It uses phrases like, The borderline does this and The bordline feels this throughout It s the same kind of language that, for example, old school anthropological studies ethnographies tend to use it renders the borderline as both a monolithic type and as other It is insulting to presume that all people with this diagnosis are the same Borderline was originally a diagnosis for people, nearly all women, who sought mental health care but didn t get better The mental health establishment spent years assuming the treatment failure rests with the borderlines, rather than with their own practices This book is a part of a larger trend in mental health care by which Borderline Personality Disorder became the most stigmatized mental disorder in the DSM.

  5. says:

    Is this book in dire need of an update Yes Published in 1989, it is about time for a re haul or at the very least a new introduction Further, whether it was published in the 1980 s or now, it lacks a feminist analysis which in turn normalizes violence and in particular intimate partner violence and heterosexist stereotypes about women and men s behaviors and emotions This absence proves dangerous for both individuals suffering from BPD and their family members The authors propose generalized origins about BPD based on heterosexist notions about gender Also, in one of the case studies, the authors describe a patient has provoking her husband into hitting her Utilizing language like that to describe a patient s guilt, placing the responsibility of violence on the victim survivor rather than the abuser Rather than exploring how BPD patients self destructive behaviors and possible histories of past physical abuse lead them to stay in abusive relationships, the authors circumvent those aspects with sentences like provoking violence and focus on substance abuse Both are equally important Also, the only case study that mentions race, devalues the patient s experiences I think it is important that while dealing with patients or if you have loved ones suffering from any mental illness, not every single behavior is attributed to that original illness, especially with personality disorders For example, in this case study a black patient expressed concern that inpatient treatment was white focused From the short story, it was clear that the patient was avoiding dealing with her own issues to focus on the racism she felt in the hospital BUT it does not mean the racism was not there Besides that, the book offers case studies that trail the behavior of BPD It is a good resource to begin to understand the erratic behavoir of people suffering from BPD Also, the back of the book provides many resources for indiviuals and loved ones yet another reason why the update is really needed I probably would not reccomend the book as a whole to patients for the above mentioned reasons, but definitely copy one of the case studies What to take away from this book BPD is an illness not a choice, not a weakness, or any other stereoype that confuses mental illness Also, the authors explore how BPD was misdiagnosed for so long.Overall, I guess I was hoping for much from this book I have read articles on BPD that did a much better job of explaining the disorder and how to treat it.

  6. says:

    This book does nothing to convince me that the diagnosis of BPD is coherent or particularly useful As always, case stories that neatly dovetail with the author s point of view are included, but I found the inclusion of gratuitous diagnosis of famous and usually beautiful women as BPD to be highly distasteful Both Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana are dissected I can see the appeal of fantasizing about offering therapy to such women, but working out those fantasies in book form is in questionable taste Similarly, his tendency to blame progressive social structures for women s confusion about their identities is a marker of his own politics than of causal factors for BPD, as is his frequent use of words like harridan and harpy to describe his female patients.His Freudian bent is made clearer by his reliance on Christopher Lasch s Culture of Narcissism, a text in which Lasch expressed his belief that modern child raising had interfered with the natural attachment of mother and child, necessary, in his mind, for a healthy culture All case studies are cherry picked and presented in the light that the therapist chooses, and the presentation of this particular narrative is no different Kriesman s perhaps unconscious racism is revealed in the story of Annette, an African American woman whose BPD makes her too sensitive to perceived racist slights at her place of work The solution is provided by the nice, white male Jewish co worker who she so sadly misunderstood and ends, quite literally, with a round of Kumbaya.

  7. says:

    Tl dr this book is a pile of garbage.This is an out of date book written by a sexist old man and I can t believe this is considered among the best in BPD literature It s borderline hate speech The author refers to people with bpd as the borderline Incredibly dehumanizing I actually made an entire note in my notes app dedicated to all the things I found problematic and infuriating about this book as I read it My biggest beef is that he portrays people with a BPD diagnosis as irrational, sociopathic, narcissistic monsters Fuck that What is this, 1950 That s just not true People with bpd are HIGHLY capable of empathy because their feelings are heightened they feel hurt so viscerally He stated that the borderline is incapable of empathy WHAT What is this founded on I m not a scientist, but even me and my high school science courses know better than to make such an outrageous claim.Okay, I m going to list my grievances with this piece of shithere goes.The author is old and, in my opinion, a huge fucking square He refers to deviant sexual behaviour many times I think he even put homosexuality in that category in the earlier edition I could be wrong, but someone else mentioned that in a review He stated that sexual perversions are common in people with bpd which is like..really Sexual perversions Can you elaborate Are you the kind of person who slut shames people Oh, you are Oh, later in the book you basically call a patient a whore for sleeping with someone other than her husband Cool he talks about her hooking up with a guy as a sleezy encounter with a man at a bar Sleezy Who are you Is it not possible to keep your conservative, bigoted opinions to yourself in this scientific book He idealizes the classic family model as if it s the only way a family should exist man of the household with job, woman at home taking care of the home, children behaving and being quiet I honestly think this book should come with a make America great again hat He even referred to a non traditional family as a faux family this 1950 He assumes multiple times that all men date womyn and vice versa I guess that s a common assumption among old, boring people, but fuck off with that shit pleeeeeeeeeease, k thx.K, I mentioned he s sexist, right Why do I ask Oh, well, every single female patient he describes in the book, he mentions their appearance and how attractive they are One patient he describes as could have been a model Sorry what does this have to do with BPD OH, it s just you being a sexist bigot Coooool One client he writes about, is described as wearing too much eye makeup as if she s hiding a sadness..WHAT Seriously I don t even know where to start just..nostop..take this fucking book off the shelves pleeeeeeeeease.But wait, there s There s one story where he describes a womyn of colour taking a stand against racism within the hospital she s staying in He belittles her and tells her she s wrong Cool Sorry, BPD people lack empathy Oh, wait, no, you meant to say I, the author of this book, lack empathy I could go on about this point, but I m a white person so I can t really attack him All I can say is, it s not for you to tell someone they shouldn t be upset I m not a psychiatrist but even I KNOW you need to validate people s feelings, not tell them they re wrong, ESPECIALLY when you don t know what they re going through That s maybe my biggest beef with him his lack of empathy He mentions that bpd is commonly found in people who have a history of sexual assault and childhood trauma Why didn t he go into this Why didn t he try to show the humanity in this diagnosis He took the easy road and wrote bpd off as a diagnosis for a bad person , like the child he seems to be Two quotes I find HIGHLY problematic 1 the borderline is unable to remain friends after a breakup AND 2 the borderline is impossible to satisfy I mean, he refers to people with bpd as the borderline It honestly reads like 1940s propaganda But anyway, those statements just AREN T true This book is so full of fallacious statements and conjecture UghIt realllllllly pisses me off that this is still being published It pisses me off that people in the mental health field STILL don t understand BPD and treat it like it s a disorder for attention seeking, manipulative sociopaths Not everything in this book is garbage, but 80% of it is which voids the other 20% Hopefully something will be written soon that actually does a good job of explaining bpd Please don t waste your time reading this it only perpetuates ignorance and misinformation Read the body keeps the score instead.Honestly, fuck this book Forever Fuck this book forever and ever.

  8. says:

    This book is about people with Borderline Personality Disorder BPD , who experience violent mood swings, which interfere with their leading a normal life The symptoms are A shaky sense of identity, Sudden violent outbursts, Severe mood shifts, Oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection, Brief, turbulent love affairs, Frequent periods of intense depression, Eating disorders, drug or alcohol abuse, and other self destructive tendencies, An irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone, Chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom, Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, Frequent and inappropriate displays of anger detail on pp 27 41 The authors claim that someone with four or five of these symptoms would be classified as a person with BPD I thought it was an excellent book and it tied in nicely to Becoming Attached The authors mention, in several places, the connection between insecure anxious attachment and BPD I liked the description of personality as a series of intersecting lines, on page 91 Also, the Chapter on Communicating With the Borderline using SET Support, Empathy, Truth, was especially good The flow was interrupted by the section on Comparisons to Other Disorders, which I would have put in an Appendix I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in BPD.

  9. says:

    As a mental health professional, I can say that I found this book to be among the best written to help a person better understand their spouse, friend, parent, sibling, etc who is suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder It helps the reader to understand how one develops the characteristics one may encounter in relationships with these individuals A bit technical at times, but true to the criteria as indicated in the Diagnostic and Statistical manual.

  10. says:

    4.5 stars While in dire need of an update, this book gives a multitude of case studies of fictitious people who are dealing with borderline personality disorder Many of the other reviews for this book who suffer from BPD said it made them out to negative people and one person actually said something to the effect of the book making her want to slit her throat and made a sarcastic joke about how borderline that made her In my opinion, as a diagnosed borderline myself, I feel that her completely negative review with not one positive thing to say is the trait that most indicates the BPD So the case studies usually start out each chapter and section and then possible reasons in a person s history or upbringing for these traits are given It touches on nature vs nurture, past trauma, abuse victims, and other possible causes I personally felt that anyone with BPD could find something to which they can relate The reviewer I wrote about above also said something about feeling that the book made borderlines out to be horrible people or something of the like In my opinion, the book depicts various traits and symptoms of this affliction the book is about a disorder characterized by symptoms that aren t in the same category with glitter and unicorns Sudden outbursts of rage, intense depression, eating disorders, self destructive tendencies, turbulent relationships, and thoughts colored black or white with no gray areas would be difficult to display under rainbow colored lights with cute puppies It s a difficult and potentially destructive disorder Note it s called a disorder, not a beneficial personality trait I personally liked being able to see that I wasn t suffering through this and making others suffer because of me alone While not all of it pertained exactly to my problems, much did and it felt good to validate my weaknesses so that I can hopefully better identify and rectify them Give the book it s needed update and I d give it the full five stars.